tell me how to let you go

why did i still let myself falling for you, when i knew all along that you will never be there to catch me?

sometimes i feel like i had enough of waiting for you to turn your eyes on me, to realize that i have always been here, waiting hopelessly for you.

sometimes i feel ashamed of this stupid feeling, for wanting something that i can never have.

sometimes it makes me too scared to even make another move.

for years, since the day you said hi to me, my heart had always been yours. i did met other people, but whenever i try to let myself being something more that just a friend with the other person, something inside me will be alarmed. i feel like i'm cheating with you. i feel like i should always make myself available, since i would not know when you will eventually look at me, take me, or hold me.

i know its stupid. i know, but i cant helped it.

when will this story find its ending?