long holiday

I'll be off for long holiday till, emm..Thursday. Cousin's wedding and other family stuff.

Wishing you all the best in this festive season, regardless of you celebrating it or not. Go out and visit your friend, and don't just stuck at home or the mall. Go on and enjoy life, it's short that if you know how short it is, you would not want to waste it by being nothing. Go out and be happy, ok!

See you around when i get back...daa!

omg omg omg

huhu..i did something rather unthinkable just now.

which left me feeling so embarrassed, and almost want to straight off jump down the window.

huhu...why i even did that? duh~

(sorry, not telling what is it cos too embarrassing!)

finally...

Remember the other day when i mentioned about something good that is going to happen? Well, finally it did.

...Cable car and Genting, done!

I was so nervous with this trip because, 1. it was in the list of what i want to do before i reach 25, 2. i scared to want it too much, afraid that it will not become real, 3. the planning was done in less than a week, with no struggle at all, 4. its genting!

But eventually things get pretty much well and my dream comes true. It was a blast weekend.

And i discover something rather funny, or maybe a little bit phsycotic.

I don't scream when sitting in all the thrill rides - except for roller coaster, we didn't get to play because of the weather - instead, i "freeze" to death. Like my friends said, "a no-feeling face". Ha ha. Embarrassing but funny.

It's a fun trip - although i keep on being the laughing-stock of my friends because of being chicken-hearted with all the rides. I don't care, their laugh makes me happy anyway. I am just a human, so its not a must for me to be all not scared and tough and whatnot. Therefore, i will just take that as a challenge, so that next time, i will do better.

At least i try to learn on how to scream ;P

"Tell me how to forgive you
When it's me who's ashamed;
And I wish could free you
Of the hurt and the pain;
But the answer is simple
He's the one to blame"
[Beautiful Liars - Beyonce & Shakira]

oh help!

i cannot decide between these two, which one i like most compared to the other? because the truth is, both had swept me off my eyes, and made my heart flipped. Oh my God, why do english man so *gulp* everything i want in a guy? why?

btw, their names are Edward Cullen(left) and Chuck Bass(right). These two are my official boyfriends for now.

Anyway life no updates. Work and other stuff just happened like normal. Oh maybe there's a few things did happened last week. Things like...

...I have a new deskmate. A guy. Younger.

...finally, I was given the office key. (Actually i was given the other colleague's key, making that person lost his access to the office. To my thinking, this guy needs the key more than me, but i also need to have the key. Therefore, i choose not to care. It's the management who decided this, so i'm being super selfish here, and not feeling a little bit of guilty at all. Seriously haha)

...the bonus and increment for this year has been announced. ****ing not good. My bonus is like a pinch, and my increment is almost not there. I wonder how bad the economy will be. Ergh...

...i had a dinner with 'him' and 'her'. My long lost good friend. (I don't know what to say about the dinner. It looks the same, but the feeling is weird. But I guess I choose not to bother so much about this anymore. I don't have any rights to say anything about other people's life, so I wish them all the best as a soon-to-be married couple.)

...i found a website that is having a long list of all the books at the bookstore, and the e-book is available for download at all time. I guess this is my way of cutting cost this year, which is by reading e-book. Haha. (As a start, I have already downloaded all series of Twilight, and half-way reading them at the moment)

...i have been talking alot to my 'friend' lately. No, not that we're in realationship or anything, it is just that he is in the middle of courting a girl, and he needs me to advise whenever necessary. Usual him. The thing is, i used to be mad about this, but this time, no more. I had almost not feeling anything - I guess I am way too far from the feeling I used to feel, therefore I don't get hurt with his attitude anymore.)

...i cough a lot this week. Terrible health problem. I felt like wearing face-mask all the time. I wonder if it will be weird though, hmm...

...i am really worried about my financial future. Duh.

P/S: I received your sms, regarding the 'not talking'. Hmm..i'm sorry if i will offend you, but i need to say this. Please stop having this kind of thinking about we're not talking or anything, please. I don't want you to simply jump into conclusion like i've changed or i'm avoiding you, or anything of that sort. No such thing. I am still me. It's just that at work, i really cannot spend so much time chatting because i am having difficulties running alongside my boss's deadlines. And at night, I can online but it was very slow. So i rather not using the messenger, because i will ended up lagging anyway. I will sometimes be working as well, doing the part-time job, so that fills my time at night. (besides reading, and dreaming of my prince charming ;p) so there's no way i'm avoiding you. It's absolutely the same as how I used to be, but it feels different because we don't work next to each other anymore. So we don't see that often, and not talking that often too. But does that change anything between us? To me it's not. We're still the same. I hope you feel the same and understand me. (I know you're having problem with him, and your family - you can always email me, i'll read - even if it's not instantly. And i will try to reply. ) Again, stop thinking negatively, you're hurting yourself, and i don't like you to do that to yourself. Please.

P/S/S:Something really good is about to happen. Something that I had been waiting for sometimes. Something that I want. But i am not telling you yet, because you know me, I am superstitious. I will definitely let you know once it has truly happened. Promise ;P

...end here. Hehe.

i'm fat, ugly and fat

Well, its been, 5th day since the new year. So, as far as I'm aware of, things has been going pretty well. Not all good for sure, but not all bad either. Kinda well-balanced, I would say. Whatever.

Anyway, at least two good things did happened today, for real.

One, the 'friend' whom i used to avoid since couple of months ago, due to his little confession bla bla, talked to me again. Well not that he actually find me or something. I have no idea by what kind of remorse, but before I realized, I took him out from the blocked list of my YM, and in a few minutes after that, he messaged me. (Expected, wasn't it?)
The best part of all that is when he don't actually talk about the past (the shameful, ugly, not-suppose-to-be-mentioned past), but he straight away asking about my bank account? Can you believe it? I was here before thinking about how on earth i would settle that problem, now out of the thin air, it was settled by itself. Pheww~

Second, I won the best presenter for the Knowledge Sharing in my company. *blushed* I knew it wasn't all grand or anything, but at least, the present became mine. Haha. Yeah, I can be so diligently proud and selfish and so self-absorbed when i get things my way. So whatever, I won. It's sweet to win, haha.

The rest of my life were just normal. You know, all the same stuff about chasing my deadline (before i'm dead, instead), and pacing up with my super-speed manager. I have this important module that need to be finished since last week, but i have not finish anything of that sort yet, by now. I had even promised them to test it by tomorrow. I guess i will have to tatter my squeaky clean record for that by telling them that i'm not done yet, again, tomorrow. (my reason, too many things to focus with, that i had lost my sight on the importance one - anything of that matters)

Oh, I am so so so infatuated by Twilight and all the books in the series. I had downloaded the e-book for all the series, and i will read them from time to time. (I had actually did, which causing me sacrificing the work that i was actually need to do just now). Edward Cullen was just the kind of boyfriend/soul mate/husband that i will want to spend my life with. Haha, i sounded like a lovesick teenagers whenever i was talking about him. Sick, I know. I find it hard to believe myself for this one as well. Usually me. I fall hard for this awesome vampire. huu~

Then i saw some photos of me during the Christmas Party at my company. Oh my God, I am soooo FAT. Seriously. I'm like a balloon, or a bomb. Hideous. And I have no idea how long i have been telling myself that i need to diet, yet it does not seem to kick in any result yet. I need a motivation, and a first step for sure.

But hell, I just had a plate of KFC just now for dinner. Sinful, i know. (For this, I blame the girls who persistently want me to join them for dinner - told them that i need to be on diet - duh)

So diet plan will obviously start again, tomorrow. Must.

i never thought love story would be so fascinating

A friend suggested that i watch Twilight, the movie about a human girl who fall in love with a vampire. I was reluctant at first, thinking that romance was like a big NO for me. Seriously, I never had so much heart for romance movies, or books, because i feel like it's a cliche - real life will never be as sweet, so why bother. Sarcasm had always been my good friend haha.

But since this friend was so insistent about this movie, I finally bought the pirated CD of it - if it's not nice, then it's ok, i can just chuck it off. But little did i know that i will be so fascinated with the love, of a vampire. Awww...

The storyline was okay, but what struck me the most was how Edward (Robert Pattinson - the guy who played Cedric in Harry Potter) and Bella started their relationship, and how protective Edward was for Bella. I could die to have that kind of protection of a love one, seriously. He was so charming, although not super handsome to my eyes. But English guy had always had a thing in me, so yeah, he qualified. Ahaks.

Go Google it yourself for the storyline, but if you were thinking of a movie to go with your bf, maybe can try this one. He may fall asleep though. Haha.

Here's some of the 'killer' dialogues that gave me goosebumps and made my heart go dub-dub-dub..;P

Edward Cullen: Are you afraid?
Isabella Swan: I'm only afraid of losing you.

Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Isabella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion.

Edward Cullen: That's what you dream about? Being a monster?
Isabella Swan: I dream about being with you forever.

Edward Cullen: [to Bella] You are my life now.

Edward Cullen: I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill.

Isabella Swan: I'd never given much thought to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I loved seemed like a good way to go.

Isabella Swan: About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominate that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
Isabella Swan: Then don't

Edward Cullen: "You're like a drug to me. Like my own personal brand of heroine."

Tell me, with words like this, who wouldn't fall in love? heeee *blushing*

"Never start a fight... but always finish it"

No, this quote has nothing significant with my life currently. I took it from the movie i had just finished watching, Changeling. (It has become a ritual for me to have a movie marathon on every free-friday that i can have. Presumably, this is my way of de-stressing, hehe)

This movie is great. It is based on real event happened during 1920-1930. It is about the fight a mother is willing to go through to get her son back, no matter what kind of hardship she has to face.

Let me give some details. Christine is a single mother, living with her 9 years old son, Walters. Then came one day where she was supposed to bring his son to the movie, when she had suddenly being called to work. She left her son at home, assuming that she will then quickly come back or something. But to her suprise, when she gets home, her son is missing.

Since when she made her police report, Walter have not been missing for 24 hours yet, the police only came to check on her case in the morning. Unfortunately, there was no trace of Walters anywhere in the neighboorhood anymore. (This is something i had always feel disagree with the police system. Missing people can only be reported IF the person had been missing for more than 24 hours. What if the person was kidnapped, and killed? Wasn't 24 hours is way too long, and too late? Other than receiving 'rasuah', why not assign these police with all these task. It doesn't matter if the person caome back within minutes or something, but i think if they really do that, i am willing to give them more respect then what i am giving now. To be honest, it's not much.)

Then came this boy who said that he is Walter. Of course the mom would know that he's a faux.
(She has a habit if measuring his son every morning before breakfast. When this fake kid trying to take over Walter's place, the measurement on the wall seems to prove that he's not Walter. He is shorter by 3 inches!)

After some more time, by some twist of fate, there's this young boy who admitted that he was forced to kill a group of young boys in a ranch, brutally. (In the moving, they are using axes!) Some people believe Walter was among the boys that got killed. But to his mother, he was still out there.

The guy who was convisted with the murder were hang to death if front of all the parents whom kids get killed in the ranch.

After 5 years, when the case had almost been forgotten, one kid (now a young adult) came forward saying that he was among the kids who was kidnapped in the ranch. He manage to escape. Not only that, at the night when he escaped, Walter was with him as well. Only that no one can confirm whether Walter had actually managed to get away from that place, or ended up being one of the brutal-murder victims.

But to Christine, she felt better now. Because, three kids get away that night, and one of them could be Walter. No one knows what happen to them, but she said, she now feel better 'cause she can hope for Walter to come back for real, since eventually Walter did tried to escape.

I love the whole scene. It reminds me of watchingThe Pianist long time ago. Classic, yet dramatic.

Trivia:
a) The murder was taken place in a Chicken Coop Ranch near Wineville. Due to what happened, the authority change the name of that place to Mira Loma.

b) Angelina Jolie is wearing the same kind of hat that Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl) is wearing is one of the series episodes. I guess fashion does come in circle.

c) The old time operator was so messy. I am happy that we finally found the PBX.

d) I sense the similarity of police department behavior in this film with one we have in here. With power, they thought they can rule us like nobody business.

e) I will never talk to a lawyer. They are so manipulative.

wow, it's been a while

i spent the new year going out with bunch of best friends. no...no, it wasn't a new year celebration lunch or something. it's just a gathering, since we haven't met for quite some times, and today is a good opportunity for everyone to go out (it's public holiday!). We met at The Curve.

these bunch of people are those whom i spent my entire 4 years+ of uni life with. we don't share super close friendship (they never know the existence of my family trouble etc etc), but these people are those that always making me evaluating life purposes and be aware of where i have been and where i will be going. we called each other best friends, i think it's more like close buddy. we met occasionally since graduation (gladly everyone still working in the same state), the last time we met were in september. yet, the air are still the same. we shared the jokes and laugh like nothing gonna make us cry.

so after the lunch, we walked to Aussino and Ikea. (haha..good thing, we no more hog the shoe department, but went to home-deco department instead. improvement?;P)

then they fetched me home.

i took a nap at around 5 something, and i had a weird dream. (btw, my mom used to say that it is not good to sleep at such hour. bad for health, and you may wake up insane. i never know if this is valid, but being me, i always go againts the rule. huhu)

so in my dream, we were at our university, and it is as if they were fetching me there, as in, i stayed there. the scenery is all the same like how we left it 3 years ago...

more things happen there, but i couldn't remember exactly. (well you know, normal thing with dream, u can't remember them well ;P)

but i woke up feeling like there's something inside me longing for that place. although i may not have the best experiences from there, but that place means a lot to me. and now, today, i miss it. hehe. i have no idea how that can happened, but i long to be in that place, living the student life with my friends all again. it's, fascinating!

anyhow, i'm looking forward for more interesting things to happen this year, so that i can look back and be happy about it. hopefully. :D