…

“..you will always gonna be the one”

dragged down

it’s been a while now. yet, every now and then, i often find myself being dragged down by the sadness. somehow, its like there’s a void right here in my heart that begin the day you left.

i miss you. truly miss you. and i just can’t stop asking myself, why, why can’t it be me?

i know i have to stop. somehow, somewhere. but i have no clue how.

they say time will heal. i wonder, how long will it takes to wipe away those memories?

dark murky waters, black hole, and emptiness

I’ve been..umm, sort of living on auto-pilot these past few days. To be exact, (and honest) – since the day i learnt that you’ve engaged. Since the day i learnt that all my dreams, all my hope, all my possibilities – will forever remain as it is, and will never come true.

Who am i kidding? Look at how different our life is. You and your grand life, me and my never-ending miseries. We’ll be like the odd ends of two sides, together but yet, not together. So probably all that happened is all for the best.

But again, who am i kidding? I’ve been at lost since that day. I’ve never felt this lonely before, nor that i had imagined myself feeling so so down nothing could ever lift me up that floor again. Like a crystal ball, my soul shattered to million of pieces – unable to be amended.

Living on autopilot wasn’t so bad either. Its more like you have all the time to learn about yourself, to find who you really is, and at the same time, avoid all the substance that could hurt you.

I don’t know if this is the best solution. And i don’t even care if it’s not.

I’m still, at this very moment, pathetically missing you.