a life with passion

often, i will see in the movie, or read in a book, or heard someone saying about how wonderful their life has been, when they do something that's their passion. I feel incredible to see that too - especially when it looks like passion really drives you further than you ever thought you can.

and i wish i have some kind of useful passion inside of me, so that i would not feel this odd feeling of worthlessness.

life has becoming more and more like a endless journey to me. my only companion was the struggles that i had to fight. fight for my mother, my siblings, my career, my life. but it fast becoming a routine, that i don't think as something that can soothe me. it feels terrible inside, because i know, i have no goals, other than to make sure that i have enough money to feed my family and to ensure my brothers and sisters get the best in their education. It's handful, but is that all? am i really going to live with just that?

i'm sure if passion is something that you were born with, or something that you will eventually find in life. whatever it is, i am quite sure that i have none - at least at the moment.