onto the second half of this year

...and how am i going to fulfill all my dreams with such short time?

I don't have the answer for that. I don't even know how to begin fulfilling it, let alone to make it done.

Where did the 6 months gone to? where did i spent my 6 months?

I remember my new year eve was a disaster. I was heart-aching. Yet you said that I was the one making it difficult. I don't know. Well maybe, like everything else, I was the one at fault. Maybe I was the one being too emotional, I was the one being selfish. It doesn't matter much at that time, so it won't matter even now. If to have a discussion on trivial things like that being my fondness, one thing for sure, I will never agree on discussing about who did what and fucked off. But since even to discuss were not my specialty, so I guess things just got dumped in its own grave and I don't have the heart to dig it yet.

I remember being super happy with my trip to Genting. It was a 2 days 1 night trip with two good friends. We have the same purpose, trying every single things that we see on the scene...so it's hillarious. I was sure to have fun, especially at the part where we ride on cable car. It was a great experience! I am still looking for next thing that i should do, or try, but nothing comes in final. I was thinking of rock-climbing, soon.

Then I remember being super tired at work, because I have this new manager who works with the speed of a superman. She's a woman though. But she's fast. I remember worrying about how am i going to keep up with her, and until now, no surprise, i am still wondering. She is still that super-fast human, and I am still me. Slow, procrastinator. Perhaps getting better at the latter. Hehe.

Then I have had my very version of "my bestfriend's wedding". It's insanely beautiful, seeing people getting married, and being happy. Those two, they made it happen in the end. I knew too well that their relationship was not the one I will call easy, but more towards fateful, or probably better be defined as magical. They taught me one thing for sure, that in the face of true love, you just had to do what you need to do. I went to visit them recently, cause she had gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I knew it somehow, as crazy as it may sounds, miracle does happen.

Then I also remember fretting about my brothers boarding school issue. One of the twins get in will early admission, while the other didn't get any offer. I was so dissapointed that this little turning in life will turn the other brother into something that I rather not saying. So I work on it. Send out letters to several schools. In the end, my brother has got his offer. At the moment, both of them are having the good time of their secondary school life - I can tell, One get involve in those school uniforms activities, while the other went for prefect or maybe school representative. When the fruit you nurtures turn out good and glimmering, even the taste of sweetness became hard to be defined.

Then I remember us being mad at each other, and we stop talking. I wonder if you still read this blog. I cannot make you less mad, I dont think thats what I want to do. What is now is the best that could happen to us. I believe so, and if you cannot accept that, I cannot make you.

Then my life goes in its usual circle, walking from one place to another, running from one empty spot to the other.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but whatever it is, i just hope that things will be bearable, if not fun. I dont need any other misery. I have had it enough.