winter sonata

Out of the blue, i had the urge of watching this particular Korean drama. It was wildly popular back when i was in my college years, but i had never watched them. I supposed i have not yet caught with the ‘Korean Drama Fever’ at that time – only starting to watch & madly in love with K-Drama after My Girl.

Anyhow, though I’ve never seen it, and before i read any of its synopsis, I knew that Winter Sonata would be such melancholy drama, full with conflicts, heart broken and unrequited love. That's the usual mixture, wasn’t it? Where there’s love, there’s unfulfilled hope, misery, tears, pain…and the list goes on.

I had never actually fall in love, or being loved back. Wait, I’ll rephrase that. I did fall in love once – but never being loved by that person, and some person did professed their love for me – but i was never in the right place to accept it. Before i found that person I’d loved so much, i have always preparing my self for him. Emptying my heart in case he arrive, making sure that the seat not taken. And after I’d lost him, I was still ensuring that the seat is not taken, in case he come back. In case he found his way back to me. Such a hopeless person, aren’t I?

He never said he loves me. I don’t even know what was going on between us. Yet he held such a prominent place in my heart. I remember hoping that our relationship would be more that just one of his ‘try-out’. Will he ever understand that his existence means the world to me?

What i hate the most is that how i am still so much attached to his memory, i am unable to move along, unable to open my heart to others, unable to be hopeful again. I was so scared of the pain, i dared not to even step forward. Deep inside me, i had a notion where i was telling my self that since i could not have the love i want, I'd rather not having any love at all for the rest of my life.

And, tell me how is that possible when I had never look for the translation of that theme song on Winter Sonata, and yet when I did, it seems like it was spelling out what was inside my heart all the time, word by word.

From Beginning To End - Ryu

You will never come back to me and you can't do it,
please stop doing so, you comfort me like this..

If I can't see you again, I really want to forget..
all about you that hold me

Whenever I want to laugh, you make me cry..
You keep me from doing even one thing as I want..
Whenever I miss you, I break down like this.
Even though I try to forget, I cannot do it..

*If I can't see you again, I really want to forget..
all about you that hold me

Whenever I want to laugh, you make me cry..
You keep me from doing even one thing as I want..
Whenever I miss you, I break down like this.
Even though I try to forget, I cannot do it..

I didn't realize loving one is so hard like this.