questions………

“if i ask you sincerely, will you give me the sincere answer I'm looking for? “if” is a nasty little word, don’t you think? same as hope, cause hope always crush us in the end, right? but what if i sincerely hope, say, for you to be mine, for us to be together – will my hope come true? will you be mine? do you want to be mine? for years, i’ve tried to forget this feeling, but it seems like I'm walking around the bush and always come back to where i began, didn’t I? it’s tiring you know? these constant feeling of hurt, do you see that no matter how hard i fight it, its still fighting me harder and killing me from the inside and that's totally crazy, right? i just can’t seems to shake this feeling, and seriously, how come you’re just everywhere that i look at? isn't that mad? or am i going mad? when did our life become such complicated? when the seasons changed, is that how your you see us to? exactly, how did we ended up here? wait, maybe there’s not so much as a “we”, more like how did I ended up here? did i misjudged your intention? did i misinterpret your signs? was there any sign at all? or did i say too much? have i done anything that pushing you away? do you actually hate me? love shouldn’t be that hard, should it? i like your smile, but do you like mine? i like your eyes, the way you talk, the way everything goes around you, but is that necessary? is that how love begin? i supposed, since i don’t even know how it began, then i’m probably don’t even know if whatever i’m feeling now is love, eh?”