Being Silly

I have tons of work waiting for me. I have numbers of deadlines to be met. I have a lot of translations to do. On top of that, I have coding and discussion to be involved in. *sigh*

Somehow, it makes me thinking, am I just hiding behind the bush for all these years? Am I so unsuited for this position? What had happened that made me so clueless now?

Anyhow, I’ve been busy these few days. And getting tired too. Lack of sleep does make you a little bit queasy. Being silly is just one of the symptoms of a stupidly pressured lifestyle. (No, I don’t actually call it a lifestyle though.)

Take these many events that had happened to me during the past few days as for example:

Event 1 - this morning at Someplace* LRT Station

ME: One ticket to Someplace* station, please.

TICKET COUNTER: Sorry?!! (She looked at me as if I’m a retarded)

ME: Someplace* station. (I was being very firm this time. I am late already, and this girl is not issuing my ticket just yet.)

TICKET COUNTER: Huh?!! (More weird look.)

ME: Somepl…eh, sorry, Anotherplace station.

Then immediately I got my ticket.

So you see, I am already at the Someplace Station, yet I requested for a ticket to Someplace Station, again and again. What kind of dumb is that! And also, my stupid TouchNGo card suddenly malfunctions. Damn stupid. That’s why I need to go to the counter for my train ticket.

Event 2 - at the office

I’ve upgraded myself from being just silly with being stupidly silly. How? I had overwritten the other programmer’s files on the server, and keep no backup of it. Smart huh? Whoever being thrown in such situation will be mad. So with respect to the madness of the other programmer, whose files being gleefully overwritten by me, and who at the same time happens to be my big boss, he bombed me with loads of madness words. Spitefully. And it all ended with

(On our MSN chat window)

MyBoss : Fuck

Me: Sorry L

I have to admit that I was very shock with that word. Not to say I had never said it, or being dumber and never know about it. Of course I know. And I am well acknowledging the level of grievance people face when they choose to spite such word, to a woman. I have to say, I hate that situation. I cried (typical me), but then when I think back again, it is a good thing that I cried at that time, since it is the first time I was being encapsulated with such vulgar word. So if he said it again next time (which I think will possibly to happen, since I’m being so dumb there and keeps on getting on his nerve!), it wont hurt me as bad anymore. I hope so.

And many other things that i don't feel like writing here because it is all stupid. I wonder how am i ended up being so screwed up like this? Useless.