Anyways, I'm sure you'd expect me to write on this. Of course I will. Tonight it has been such an eventful night that I shall not forgotten for as long as I’m still taking bus to work. Or to anywhere else.
Mere words cannot help me on expressing my utmost gratitude on you. You'd save me, darling. You really did. I know it's just sensible for someone who is lost to call up on friend for help, but read on, you'll understand why I say you've saved me.
****************************
I was so busy at work today. Ever since I came back to work yesterday, I haven't really got much rest. Piles of works hunting me like bullets that will anytime shot my head. The sad part is, I will suffer but not die. So the suffering part is really @#$#%^^%$$ (unable to find a suitable word!).At around 3 something, I remember messaging you on MSN, asking you to forward your resignation letter to me. No, its not like I’m going to submit my letter just now (aha, so dramatic), but I want your letter so that I can have a copy of resignation letter at hand which will reminds me that anyhow thing gets bad, I have an exit that I can always choose.
And then at around 5 something, after a sucky discussion with a colleague, I went to toilet and cried my heart out. I really cried. I felt like having a bit of nervous breakdown at that time. I had almost decided to declare that I'm sick and run home. But eventually I came out from toilet to face the reality again (read: face the desktop).
And then, at around 6 something, I received YM message from that somebody that I've been missing for so many days. We talked, and talked like how we used to be, or how we once were. The conversation had somehow warmth my cold-sad-broken heart (I know you don't like this part).
Finally, at around 7 something, I decided to leave office.
After waiting for like 10 minutes (this consider very little time), my bus arrived. I can see that the driver was the uncle who always suddenly off the air-cond and made us all passengers suffer in heat. Since there were not so many people boarding the bus, I went straight to the back and sit near the window.
I put on my mp3 player, tuned to Jay Chou's new song, and sit back and relax and enjoy my journey. I remember seeing the bus clock at it shows 19:46. I did a quick calculation and assume that I can reach home by or before 8.30, which is great since I will need to continue some work at home. I remember passing by KFC and Millenium Court building, and also the University Hospital.
*******************
When I opened my eyes, the first thing that I realized that it was so damn dark in the bus, and I was all alone. I moved to the seat in front of me, so that I can seat near the door. It's raining drizzly outside, so it's a bit blurry, plus I don't wear my contact lenses, which all contribute to the fact that I feel a bit alienated to the surrounding. First thing came to my mind, "Ah, maybe due to bad traffic, this uncle decide to change route. Anyhow he should still be stopping at my station, so it's ok".
After like 5 minutes, the driver finally realized that I was still inside the bus. He turned on the light, and start asking (or rather shouting since our distance is quite far. I dare not get near him. The old case of rape in bus started to flood my bird-brain.).
Driver: "Eh how come you didn't get down just now?"
Me: "Eh, reached XX station already?"
Driver: "Not going to that station today, very jam. Just now I stop at YY station; I thought everyone went off already."
Me: "Now where are you going?"
Driver: "You have to get down; I'm going to the terminal already. Later I stop at that road; you wait till got bus no. 66 or 75, ask if they make the journey to XX station".
Me: "Huh? Where are we now actually?" (Started to get scared and annoyed by that uncle's remark)
Driver: "MM place, this road"
Me: *silence*
Driver: "who asked you to sleep in bus." (Sarcastically. hello uncle, I don't board this bus with "I want to sleep" in mind lar.)
Since it’s my fault, I didn't really scold that driver or anything. He's not to be blame anyway. I was only hurt by his ignorance. Really, if he has a daughter like me, will he let his daughter wandering off by a busy but very very alien roadside, at 8 something at night? I wonder where his heart. At least give me a clear direction on where to go lar.
Anyhow, still, it’s my fault. So I went off that bus. The moment I stepped off, I started to feel very scared. It's a very busy road, with back to back jam, but it's not like I’m in main city or something. No shop no nothing. It's all roads with big bridge and flyover and road sign and no shops. With my half blind eyes, I tried to skim for which way I should head to, in hope that it will lead me to somewhere much familiar.
I crossed a road, and then I realized that the other road across that road has much more "light" at its end, so the I crossed back that road and made the turning to another road. Since it was so jammed, I was almost like running around cars from one end to another. I wonder what people think of when they see me. Lost chick maybe. (Never mind I never hope people to pity me anyway, since my thinking towards the existence of person with heart ended when that driver put me down just now.)
I walked along the dark roadside, in a very unfamiliar surrounding, and a pounding heart. I was so closed to tears. Then I saw a bus coming towards my way.
I was relieved when I read the sign and it shows "Taman Something - YY Station". At least any station will do.
So I stop that bus and board it. I asked the driver before boarding,
Me: "Will go to YY Station right?"
Driver: "Yes, but will make a very far round." (He gave me the face as if saying, "are you sure you want to board in?")
Me: "Oh its ok"
There were not so many people inside the bus. I dare not sit, so I just stand near the front door. The bus went off to more unfamiliar roads. More people get down. I was terrified again. This was when I message you.
My intention was to ask for help, but I was very ego. Paiseh also. So I just sent that message in case anything happens to me that night, so at least somebody knows where I was last. (Ok, I know this is a bit of an extreme mind-set, but this is how my brain works. Told you its half bird -_-).
Eventually, this second bus went towards your area, and I did recognize the big bridge. When in pressure, my brain works quite admirable. This is when I message you on the second (and third) time.
When you called and asked me to get off the bus, and you said that you will come and fetch me, I was so relieved. Without any hesitation, I went off. Managed to ask the driver on where I was at that time, to which he replied "Taman S".
Then I gleefully wait for you to rescue this lost soul.
********************
When I think back, I realized that I was so carried away by my ego, that I never say "please help me" when I was really in need. I am sorry. It's not like I'm taking you help for granted, but I just don't know how to do that. I was so used to work on my own, until it makes me forgotten that there are times when I need other people. Like just now. I'm so sorry. You know I'm truly thankful to your rescue just now.
********************
I remember laughing at your boyfriend when I heard that he was lost when taking bus from in front of our office. I felt so embarrassed just now, because at least, he was deserted at a place where there were a lot of people, unlike me just now. Even though I know he will not read this blog, I would like to say Sorry for laughing at him at that time. I learnt my lesson. I regretted my silly act. (huhu~ paiseh to say face-to-face anyway)
********************
I hope tomorrow will be a better day to me. And I'm here pledging that I will try as hard as I can, and not falling asleep in bus anymore. It's dangerous. Now I understand why my mom had always reminded me to be more sensible of my safety.
I'm blur. I wish i can be more alert. I wish I was never born to be this blur.
I know I'm wishing in vain. Blur has been my middle name for ages.
0 comments:
Post a Comment