oh help!

i cannot decide between these two, which one i like most compared to the other? because the truth is, both had swept me off my eyes, and made my heart flipped. Oh my God, why do english man so *gulp* everything i want in a guy? why?

btw, their names are Edward Cullen(left) and Chuck Bass(right). These two are my official boyfriends for now.

Anyway life no updates. Work and other stuff just happened like normal. Oh maybe there's a few things did happened last week. Things like...

...I have a new deskmate. A guy. Younger.

...finally, I was given the office key. (Actually i was given the other colleague's key, making that person lost his access to the office. To my thinking, this guy needs the key more than me, but i also need to have the key. Therefore, i choose not to care. It's the management who decided this, so i'm being super selfish here, and not feeling a little bit of guilty at all. Seriously haha)

...the bonus and increment for this year has been announced. ****ing not good. My bonus is like a pinch, and my increment is almost not there. I wonder how bad the economy will be. Ergh...

...i had a dinner with 'him' and 'her'. My long lost good friend. (I don't know what to say about the dinner. It looks the same, but the feeling is weird. But I guess I choose not to bother so much about this anymore. I don't have any rights to say anything about other people's life, so I wish them all the best as a soon-to-be married couple.)

...i found a website that is having a long list of all the books at the bookstore, and the e-book is available for download at all time. I guess this is my way of cutting cost this year, which is by reading e-book. Haha. (As a start, I have already downloaded all series of Twilight, and half-way reading them at the moment)

...i have been talking alot to my 'friend' lately. No, not that we're in realationship or anything, it is just that he is in the middle of courting a girl, and he needs me to advise whenever necessary. Usual him. The thing is, i used to be mad about this, but this time, no more. I had almost not feeling anything - I guess I am way too far from the feeling I used to feel, therefore I don't get hurt with his attitude anymore.)

...i cough a lot this week. Terrible health problem. I felt like wearing face-mask all the time. I wonder if it will be weird though, hmm...

...i am really worried about my financial future. Duh.

P/S: I received your sms, regarding the 'not talking'. Hmm..i'm sorry if i will offend you, but i need to say this. Please stop having this kind of thinking about we're not talking or anything, please. I don't want you to simply jump into conclusion like i've changed or i'm avoiding you, or anything of that sort. No such thing. I am still me. It's just that at work, i really cannot spend so much time chatting because i am having difficulties running alongside my boss's deadlines. And at night, I can online but it was very slow. So i rather not using the messenger, because i will ended up lagging anyway. I will sometimes be working as well, doing the part-time job, so that fills my time at night. (besides reading, and dreaming of my prince charming ;p) so there's no way i'm avoiding you. It's absolutely the same as how I used to be, but it feels different because we don't work next to each other anymore. So we don't see that often, and not talking that often too. But does that change anything between us? To me it's not. We're still the same. I hope you feel the same and understand me. (I know you're having problem with him, and your family - you can always email me, i'll read - even if it's not instantly. And i will try to reply. ) Again, stop thinking negatively, you're hurting yourself, and i don't like you to do that to yourself. Please.

P/S/S:Something really good is about to happen. Something that I had been waiting for sometimes. Something that I want. But i am not telling you yet, because you know me, I am superstitious. I will definitely let you know once it has truly happened. Promise ;P

...end here. Hehe.