i wish you will understand

If i tell you how i feel, or how your existence makes me feel, will you understand? Will you even care?

As far as i can remember, i have hinted to you so many times, that i had chosen you. That my heart is yours.

But you choose to ignore it, you choose to break it.

You choose to hurt me, disappoint me, put me in a black hole where i have no answer except for nothing.

I do not know whats in your heart. I do not know what you think of me. I do not know, and I do not understand.

I have tried million times to stay away from you, to forget you - but then you'll ring that bell, and here you are, on my doorstep.

But you don't actually comes in, you don't even intend to be in. You just want to make sure that i'll be around, that i will stay at the same address, and you will always able to yield me out, let bare and let you hurt me.

Thats your design, and that had always be your design.

Yet i can't hate you. I don't have the strength to decide for my heart, if its related to you. I have no strength to do so.

And i am still wandering in this endless journey, waiting for you to understand.