table for two...or one?

let me ask u a question
"do you mind eating alone, at a restaurant?"

Some, or maybe most of the people will say "Yes, I do mind". After all, what fun is it to dine in alone. Might as well you 'tapau' and eat at home, isn't it? But to me, my answer will be no brainer. I will definitely say "No, I don't mind". In fact, I'd just have my dinner at Yoshinoya, alone. Oh yea, another thing is, I'm not the only one dining alone just now. But still, I managed to notice some eyes who look at me and as if they were saying "OMG, you're eating alone? Pity you". Haha..okay okay, maybe thats my imagination. But i think it does make sense right, no?

Well, I'm still thinking about that someone. Oh maybe we should nickname him with some other name, since i think im gonna ramble a lot about him here..let see, I will name him, Jack. Yes Jack. (That name abit fishy somehow..heha)

Me and Jack, I think we were just never meant to be together. Seriously. After so man attempts, I think now i can accept the fact that things were just never worked out from us. I feel pain, but i can accept it now. The only thing left is his explanation. at least..

From the day we knew each other, until the day I scolded him, things were just complicated. Me, undoubtedly falling for him. But Jack, I would say he's confused with his own choices. Or worse, he has a lot of options, one or any of them were just never be me. Enough said.

I still remember the day we had our last lunch. It was at my office area, at one of the good restaurant there. Maybe because we're too early, no one was in the eating area yet. So we had our lunch in a situation as if i had booked the place for him. I was nervous the day before, but im so glad things turn out so well. We talked and talked and teased each other. Things were so sweet. But still, thats the last date (we never call any of our dine-meeting as date tho).

Well, although we've known each other for like..6 years, we had only met for like..ermm, let me see. the first time was when he fetched me to the bus stop in front of our university. Then after that, a breakfast before i went for industrial training. The third one will be before the day of his graduation, where he came and see me with his friend. Then the fourth was the day after his graduation. So the fifth one is the last one. Well, call me pathetic, I fall for someone that i met only for like 5 times in 8 years. Sigh

I hope i will have a better sense next time. I am so tired of missing him, yet I'm still missing him. I'm so tired of falling for him, yet I'd fall and stumbled for God-knows how many times. I am so tired, yet i cannot stop. He was the one, he will always be the one. If only he care to explain and let me off all these miseries. Sigh again