it’s one of those weekends when i feel like my life was so torn – between the commitment of family, and my own self.
it started when my mom told me that she was invited to one of those weekend programme for the club she was in. that means – she’ll be away for the weekend, leaving my sisters in the care of their brothers.
I wasn’t at all keen with the idea of she’s joining the weekend program. But i don’t want to be selfish either. I can’t chain my mom to that God forsaken house forever, can i? So I'd tried to be cool about the whole being-away-for-the-weekend idea. I asked her about the arrangement for my sisters – will they be safe at home, etc. Everything seems to be in place, but I can’t shake off my worries.
I even contemplating with the idea of me flying off to my hometown for the weekend – even though i had just went back last week – to make sure that my sister will be well take care of when my mom was at that program. Somehow i did realize it was such a drastic idea, and i need to start trusting my brothers with the responsibility. Like i said, i can’t chain my mom forever to the house. She has the right to have a life too, albeit just for the weekend like that.
So I tried hard to shut off my worries. It ain’t easy.
Anyhow, it’s Sunday today and my mom is back at home. My sisters was all ok. My brother did fulfil his responsibility.
The it gets me thinking - have i been over-reacting? Was this whole depressing feeling i had inside all because of my over-thinking, over-reacting? How do i cure this? Now I'm feeling sick to my stomach.
Just how much disturbed I've been?
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