you know what’s best for you

before that, which type of person are you? One who like to be told, or one who tell on what you like? These two statements may seem like a similar thing, but they are different in every possible way.

When my dad had an accident 4 years ago, and he was unable to move due to his broken ribs, mom still go to work everyday. When every relative that came to visit dad knew, they said mom is selfish. Dad is sick, yet she still goes to work everyday. As if money is more important than her husband. Mom was hurt with all the saying, but she did not care. Because she knows, she did what’s best for her, for every one of us in the family.

When dad is sick, and he was unable to work for at least 3 months, mom was our only hope to continue living. She knows that she needs the money. My mom, she was the type that doesn’t simply ask for help. She wants to work out her problem herself. So when everyone was saying that she’s selfish and left my sick dad at home, she knows best to just keep quite and don’t bother about anything being said. She knows that if she did not work, we will face a huge financial problem. But those who talk, who says spiteful words on her, they don’t seem to understand. Because they only see, and they say it based on what they see. They don’t understand.

When I choose to study in IT, instead on taking Medic, everybody said that I wasted my good result. Well, yeah...my SPM result was good. I passed with flying colors. But then, I choose to study in local uni because of many reasons. First, I will get a convertible study loan, which is a good thing because then it means that my parents would not be burden by my study fees. I know my parents can never afford it anyway. Second, apart from a big amount of fees for Medic, it took such a very long long time to finish. Imagine if I am still studying now, what would happen to my mom. Third, I know I am not good enough for that. Yes, my result might be good, but to do something that you don’t feel like doing, what’s good will it be for you? These are among many excuses that I gave to myself whenever I was questioned with my decision of studying and working. I know it sounds lame, but you can’t continuously let people hurt your ego. I never tell anybody about this though. It’s just my own reasoning, because in the end, I believe that I know what’s best for me. There’s no use of telling them, because they won’t understand, and they wouldn’t stop talking, and blaming.(Oh anyway, I'd never choose to study in IT. It sort of like comes to me, and I had accepted it. But to think deeply, thats the way i used to live my life. I take whatever comes my way, and live with it. So far no problem, apart from the endless comment i received from people around me on how careless I lived my life. But do i look like i care?? heck no..)

When a friend of mine chooses to leave her 5-years boyfriend for good, everybody says that she’s selfish. The relationship does not seem to have problem. It is normal for boyfriend-girlfriend to be overly protected towards each other; therefore her ground for ending the relationship is unacceptable. But she did it anyway. No matter how hurtful the feeling is, she ended the relationship. Because, she knows what’s best for her. To me, I would say that she did it because she knows that it is better to leave now, than to live in a life you never like for long. But I guess, she has her own reason to do so. I’d never asked. I don’t think I need to know either, because even if she gave me her reason, I may not understand. She knows what’s best for her anyway.(I am still mad at her for many other reason though.But i think, like i said, I don't understand, therefore I feel mad. It's normal..)

So, what I am trying to say is, no matter how much you can meddle in people’s life, or how close you can be with a person, you can never decide what’s best for that person. It depends, and the only one who knows what’s best is the person himself/herself. You can see from any logical way, but the only vision that’s clear is being seen by the person, not you. We cannot alter what we can’t decide. Because in the end, the one who is going to live with the consequences is not us, but that person alone. You can share a burden, but you can never replace it. You have no right to do so.

So just go ahead, and do what’s best for you. Go ahead and make your own leap, and do not bother about what people may say. They don’t understand your suffering, and to say things about you is the only thing that they can do. So don’t worry, you know what’s best for you.

Live life as how you want it to be, not how people want you to be. Because it's your life, and the only thing that matters is you, yourself.

p/s: I've had another wasteful weekend...erghh. Damn, how did i end up being such a lazy bum..I am too lazy to even go shopping...uwaaaaa.