window to the past, door to the future

i really afraid of what might happen tomorrow, for today is good enough that i manage to stay afloat of all my troubles.

i can’t get rid of the thinking that i had the worst among the rest. i tried to see past there peoples, to find the day where i can finally say, “at least my life is better than that”. but i can’t find it. not anywhere. it’s like, the more i think about it, the more it hurts. the more it makes me feel like life is too hard to get on.

occasionally, i did find a thing or two that made me happy. but along the line, there will be one turn that open up to all the sadness. if feels like rains, pouring on you, and there goes the sunny day.

now i feel like crying, while its just few hours earlier i was so euphoric sadness seems to be at bay. what is wrong with me. why can’t i just be happy?