if one is hurtful enough...what about two?

Well, i had finally comes around with the fact that my bestie is leaving the company. It was tough, but after a series of denial, I realized that i need to think maturely enough to let her go peacefully. After all, it was always insanely hurtful to see her suffering with her job. So, she'd be better out there, for sure.

But, just as I had finally feel better, another shocking news brought me back to earth. My sister is leaving the company, as well. God knows how i had to fight with the news.

Well the truth is, she was not my biological sister, not step sister, or anything near that. But since the first time I met her, in that office, we had always have something in common. First of all, our birthdate is one week after another. I was born on 7th, while she was on the 14th. That make us both Librans. Then, we work on the same title, becoming the computer junkie. Yeah, no doubt that she's more superior...in fact, she's my supervisor. But i dare to swear that, she's way to good for a supervisor. I'm sure would never find any other supervisor nicer that my this jie. She'd made my life at that company not so bad, cos above all the s***-ness at that office, working together with her had always be one fun experience. For some undefinable reason, we can actually laugh at each others joke cheerfully, despite making other people around us stare and find us being too 'happy'. Well, someone actually joked around and said that we can open a comedy central. With her, I never need to finish my sentences, cos before I knew, she would understand it all. I have to confess that, I felt so much comfortable talking to her, than anyone else. For someone like me who gave up when people start to misunderstand, having her is the most precious gift. Although she said that I hide a lot of things from her, which I have to admit that it might be true, but the other truth is, she's the only one that I shared with the most.

I don't really remember when did I started to call her my jiejie. But what I know for sure, she's more than just a bestfriend to me. With her, I truly become myself. Sometimes I will play the role as someone who will protect her, and some other time I let go of my ego and let her take care of me. With her, I show my ugly face whenever I was mad, or dissatisfied. With her, I said sarcastic notion when she blabbered about her boyfriend. With her, I cried when my dad put me in yet another difficult situation. With her, I stay calm when she's mad, or being cranky and moody. With her, I know when she truly needs me, and when she don't. With her, I don't mind showing my stupid self, which I had been carefully hide from others around me. With her, I had finally open up my heart, and slowly accepted the fact that I can't just push away everyone from my life and try to live alone. With her, I realized that there will be someone who will actually care for you. With her, I realized that there's more than just responsibilities.

But now, in the couple of months, I had to learn to live without her, which I have no idea how it will be.

After all, I'd never blame her for making that decision. In fact, it was the best thing for her. Her love-life had always been complicated. One charming boyfriend who doesn't know how to value your feeling is definitely not a wise one to be kept. Even though I have to admit that I did saw the sparkle of lover between them, things happened. I certainly will not allow him to jilt my jie for yet another time. It had already been too many times. So, when she decided to let go, walk out of that horrible relationship, it makes me feel slightly relieve. Although I know that she will be suffered, it will be just a matter of time before she will be happy again. I know it wont be so soon, but at least, she had made her first step. I'd admired her braveness for this time, since I know its not an easy option for her. Love is comforting when it is still sweet, but when it turns sour, there's no antidote in the entire universe that can cure the poisonous pain. I knew that for sure.

So now, in like...two months, I am going to loose my bestie, and my jie. Okay, maybe not totally losing them, but things wont be the same anymore. I was devastated, and still sad. But I choose to understand their reason for doing so. All of us, we have the rights to change our path, for a better ones. One thing I truly regret, I was not be able to do the same thing. Well, lets believe that my time will come, maybe later.

At first I thought of hating them for leaving me, but slowly I realized that there's no point for that. Why do I have to hate the person who bring so much happiness to my life? Although, yes, sometimes they do unintentionally hurt me, it does not matters. Both of them said that we will definitely stay in touch, but I don't trust it. Not that I don't trust their words, but my mind refused to take in any more promises. Enough to know that when they were around, they truly care for me. So when they are not, I know that I will have them around me, only not visibly next to me.

God, please give me strength to go through this moment, and let them go, peacefully...