Letter to a Friend

Dear friend,
To begin with, I would like you to pardon my intention of writing this letter. I have no intention of humiliating you – if that’s how you feel when you read this – but I’m merely depicting my own thought and feeling towards what-so-ever that had became of us.

Sadly enough, after all these years, we came to realize that we are not what we thought we are. I thought I am a loyal friend, one who does not get affected by whatever wave that shall come upon us. But now I know that I am not. I was not.

The fate that brings us together was undeniable. You’ve once said it yourself that if not because of what had happened, we would not be any closer that what we have been. I was mad when I first heard that, because I used to believe that we are more than what we are, but now I come to understand your notion. I am truly understood what you’ve meant, and I have learnt to accept the fact that, like you have said, we were together because of what had happened. Our fate were entangled in the past, brought upon the present, but eventually was not strong enough to face the future.

Dear friend,
I am truly sorry to be mad at you, but I really am mad. I am truly sorry to have done this to you, but I do not know any other thing best to be done than not this.

I know I am being stupid by neglecting our friendship and getting myself into this endless rage and disappointment. But I have my own feeling. Yes, I may be able to forgive you, but will I be able to forget all those days that we used to spend together? Those tears that we have shared, will I be able to ignore it today? I am still here because I still have no answer to all these questions. In fact, I don’t think I will be able to find the answer forever. I can forgive, but tell me how to forget. Because forgiveness is just a matter of what being spoken, but memories is what lies ahead of us. How can I ignore them?

Dear friend,
Please tell me what I have done wrong that I deserved all this? Please tell me that I am not making a correct choice by deserting you, merely by all these misunderstanding. Because I am lost, I don’t know what best to be done. I don’t know which one I should save first, myself or our friendship. Because I can see now both of them are drowning. Tell me that this is the price that I have to pay for all the mistakes that I have done towards you. Please tell me that I was wrong too, so that we stand at the same point, so that I have a reason to forget. Because again, it’s easy for me to forgive, but I am a fool, I have no idea on how to forget. I know I’m being childish by holding this feeling of resentment against you, but tell me to my face, why I should not. Because I don’t see the reason now, and I don’t think so I will ever see the reason in the future. I have no intention to seek for it either.

Dear friend,
I am not writing to get your sympathy. I am not writing to sound pitiful, to pen down all your mistakes, because I know I am not perfect either. I am writing this just to settle things over. I have no intention of keeping any more bitterness against you, because I know, even if it’s just for one second; you were once a friend to me. You had once taken a great care of me. I would kill myself first if I have to hurt you.

I was mad no more, because I have pushed away all the memories that bound us along to a place far far away. I am willing to let everything go, let it be washed away by the tears that were flowing from my eyes as I wrote this letter to you. I am willing to forget who we once were, or how we had became then.
I wish you happiness wherever you are, whoever you will be with. I am truly thankful for the friendship we have shared before, and may I be able to obtain the strength to forget them all. I wish you all the greatness of life, because I knew you will always be great no matter what happen.

And again, I am sorry for everything that I have brought upon you. Frankly, you were one of the few best things that had ever happened in my life. I am grateful for the chance of living beside you.

Sometimes, we want things to go our way, but they won’t and we get frustrated, not knowing that it might be for the best.

Truly written by,
Your Friend